Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Night I Became A Vampire

Prologue: I wrote this my first year in college as a free writing assignment. I was accused of plagiarizing it by my professor. My honesty was insulted, however, it was a bit encouraging for the writer in me. The written text has not been altered or changed since that day I turned it in, October 5th, 2003. Here it is, in it's entirety.



05 Oct 03

The Night I Became a Vampire

It was not yet three years after we lost the colonies in the Americas. The majority of what my father had left me was invested in a Virginia plantation, though I had never left England. During the Rebellion, I lost it all. It was burned to the ground. My English home, just outside Thurnham, was but a day’s ride from Lancaster. It sat atop a lush rolling hill, overlooking a small cemetery two miles or so in the distance. The cemetery was ancient, becoming more visible each day as the leaves fell off the trees surrounding it. Some members of the Lancaster Royal Family lay here, cold and stale. My father was buried here on the first day of 1774.

I sat in a courtroom all day, defending a client accused of stealing chickens. I knew he had done it, he’d told me so. The judge wasn’t very sympathetic of him. I remember the way he gazed at me from under his white wig. The great arbitrator was searching, as I was, for the answer as to why I went on. More than thirty years had passed since the departure of my loving parents, whom he knew. They didn’t live to see me marry, or their grandchildren born. I shed a tear for them every day.

On my ride home that evening, a deep fog filled the air around me. I trusted my horse knew the way, and thought nothing of the road out of town. I couldn’t keep at bay the thought of the coming season. I wondered if I would have enough firewood to last winter. I imagined that things could be worse, but I couldn’t visualize how. Alice and I just added another hungry mouth to the family. Martha was almost five months now, as old as Robert when we lost him. She had begun eating solid food. Our other six kids were very thin. We have very little income since losing the plantation, and bread was scarce. I knew Alice would cry once she heard I lost another case.

I could look no further than my horse’s ears. I pat him, and his ears perked just as I told him he was a good horse. Just then, the fog cleared some. Contradictory to my previous remark, I realized that we were in the middle of the cemetery. I pulled at the moist reins. We had gone at least a few miles out of the way, I figured. When my eyes began to search around, they almost immediately locked on a headstone reading ROBERT CLARKE, 1686 – 1743. Shocked as I was, I didn’t move. I just stared, gazing into each letter of my father’s name. Nearly twenty years have gone by since I laid my eyes on this very stone, the layers of green moss indicating that I may have been the last person to wipe it clean. My mother lie next to him.

My horse began to breathe more noticeably, kicking his hoof. He didn’t like it here. The atmosphere denoted his nervousness, making me feel a bit uncanny as dusk neared. I thought I heard the gravel churn a short distance away. Startled, I immediately turned my body to face my back left side. My eyes scanned the area, detecting nothing. I let down my guard, sighing with relief. I could smell pleasing the scent of the freshly fallen leaves in the air. I took one last glance at my parents’ graves, touched my chest four times and perked my back up straight. It was time I got home. Just as I squeezed my thighs, I heard six footsteps right ahead of me. They were very close together, something was running. At me. Straight at me. I froze with fear, a cold chill running down my spine. With my eyes popping out of my head, they stopped, ten or twelve feet in front of me. My jaw dropped, and just as it did, something grabbed me right off my horse. I thought it was a man. It was him running at me, and jumping at me. He wrapped but one arm around me when he hit me, and I joined him in flying through the air. And in landing on the ground, right against a sarcophagus. We nearly knocked the lid from it, remembering nothing thereafter for I was knocked unconscious…

Copyright 2007, Joseph R. Holod. You may link to this copy of the work, all other rights reserved.

Thursday, January 4, 2007

eBay is a great thing... for Scam Artists

I need to do a little venting. I've been trying to sell a laptop on eBay now. It just got relisted for the second time tonight.

First things first. eBay is a wonderful thing. It drew thousands of people to the internet whom would otherwise never touch a computer. It has transformed modern-day economics the way the internet eventually would. Let's face it, without eBay, buying and selling things on the internet would be very difficult. eBay has made virtual storeplaces something that anyone can do, whereas without eBay, PayPal and their clones, even an above average computer user/business person would have many discouraging hurdles in the way.

My problem with eBay is that right now, there are hundreds and possibly thousands of scam artists on there. I never even realized it, until last week. In the item description of the laptop I'm selling, I very specifically state that there is NO international shipping. 50 states only. I included the 'Buy It Now' option in there so that maybe I could make some extra bucks off someone who wants the thing in a quick hurry - half the reason the option even exists! A couple days after I list the item, I get some emails from this goon. It says, "Hi, I'm blah blah. I live in the UK but I'm in France on business right now. I bought this laptop for my Grandson in Nigeria. Would you ship it to him?"

Being naive, I said sure. As soon as I receive payment. Shipping will be this much extra. The next day I got this email from PayPal saying that I received payment from this goon, and here's the mailing address. Looked fishy, so I logged into PayPal (something everyone should do to check, even if you sold a $5 pair of sunglasses to your best friend). Didn't say anything about that payment whatsoever.

Here's what they do: They send you an email from PayPal (not even from a real paypal address). It says , "Hi. This is paypal. We're holding funds for this goon. As soon as you send us (paypal) the tracking information for this item, you'll get the funds." As far as I know, paypal doesn't even DO that.

So, that's a roadblock to be selling this item. I really need the money from it, like, last month. I relisted the Item, and the same thing happened. AGAIN. This time, instead of a brand new eBay user, it was from someone who had a rating of 40 or so, and they had 100% feedback. Their profile said they were in the US. The feedback comments for the user went back to 2002. So what I basically think happened, is, some goon from wherever hijacked this person's eBay account. Is that terrible, or what? A person who worked real hard to keep a 100% feedback rating, and some foreign phisher hacker jerk decides to exploit it.

eBay sellers beware. Be sure to use the 'Block Users...' options to protect yourself. If you receive any emails from eBay or PayPal then make sure that you open your browser, type in ebay.com, and paypal.com, and check things for yourselves. Also, maybe not including a 'Buy It Now' option could help as well.

eBay, you need to do something about this.


So I relisted the item a 2nd time, and found that you can block buyers not from places you ship. Clicked that on! I also removed the Buy It Now option.

Trying to sell this item coast me $22 the first time and $22 the second time. I owe eBay money because they think I actually sold the item and received payment for it.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

To my Baby

I love you baby,
More than the sun.
I love you baby,
'Cuz you're my hunny bun.

You're so sweet, baby,
Sweeter than ice cream.
You're so sweet, baby,
It's better than a dream.

You're my Angel, baby,
Mine to Love and respect.
You're my Angel, baby,
Mine to serve and protect.

I don't know what I'd do without you, baby,
And all of the magical times we've spent.
I don't know what I'd do without you, baby,
By the way, I plan to help with rent. ;)

I don't know how you stand me, baby,
How I want to stay fun and free.
I don't know how you stand me, baby,
But that's how I always want to be.

Thanks for stickin' it through, baby,
I know this winter's been tough.
Thanks for stickin' it through, baby,
This time next year we should have our own stuff.

I wanna be with you forever, baby,
Every day of every year.
I wanna be with you forever, baby,
Right down to the very last tear.

I Love You, Melissa

Friday, December 29, 2006

Ponderings... or, lack thereof

Throughout my day I spend a lot of time on my own, working, driving, or whichever else. I ponder a lot, about dumb little stuff. A lot of the time I say to myself, wow, I wish I can remember this later on today. Maybe if I can remember it I can transform a pondering into an idea.

The human mind is very interesting. The thought process is such a tangled web. Ever have an idea? How did you come up with the idea? What thoughts or events led up to it?


"Whoa! That sign I just drove past kind of reminds me of that Holy Grail movie."

"I wonder if there really is Holy Grail."

"I remember in The Da Vinci Code movie the part with the Last Supper, they pointed out that there was no cup on the table in the Last Supper painting."

"I wonder what they would have drank at the last supper had they used cups for every person."

"Maybe there were some cups there and Da Vince just didn't paint them. How could he know one way or the other?"

"If I painted it, and I used cups, I would paint on that looks sorta like the 'Not tonight, it's bowling night' mug as a joke. That'd be funny."

"Oh, no! I left the coffee pot on."


Should thought processes make sense? Is there a correct way to think as a means to blossom your thoughts into better, fuller ideas? I'm sure there's some kind of Freud stuff about all that. Makes one ponder...

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Christmas and thereafter

Our Christmas went well. We sent Christmas Eve at a friend's place. It was real fun.

We've been having a lot of bad luck lately with cars. I've decided that the most reliable form of transportation here in the winter is dog team. They don't break down. It doesn't matter how cold it is, they always start - you don't even need to plug them in all night and jump-start them in the morning. They don't let you down. They don't just run out of gas. They definitly don't get stuck. They don't need oil changes, they don't blow headlights, and they don't grind gears. Their transmissions don't blow. They get you to where you need to go, dependably. All they need is love.

Friday, December 22, 2006

So I decided to update today agian. Today we tried to plan a trip down to Skagway to take care of some business, but it's next to impossible to rent a big pickup truck. It's as if F-250's and bigger don't even exist to rent! Makes me want to start a truck rental company that rents out trucks rigged for towing.

Anyway, I went over and scooped the dog yard today and straightened things out. Tomorrow we'll be running some teams. This is the second day I haven't run - I'm really starting to feel like a fish out of water! I BELONG on the runners behind that sled. I spent some time with Stormy's puppies while I was over there. They look just like their dad and grandpa! They're around 4 or 5 weeks old now and are beginning to wander around their pen some. I bet the two boys end up 65 pounds and the girl maybe 55.

I've really been meaning to get a watch for the trail. I'm always wearing my watch, a small analog model that velcroes on. When I'm out with a team it's a real inconvenience to pull down my glove and lift up my sleeve right in front of my face just to glace at the time, it's not worth it. In the past I've tried wearing my stopwatch around my neck, but that gets in the way any time I need to bend over for anything at all. It's clunky and can become caught on things. So today I sewed a piece of 3/4" wide breaded elastic band into a big loop. I took the cord off the stopwatch, and popped off the back cover. I got two small screws with bolts and bolted the stopwatch to the elastic band. It should fit perfectly over all my winter gear so that I can wear it near the middle of my forearm. It'll be nice being able to use a stopwatch, too, as opposed to using a regular watch that only tells time. It seems pretty sturdy, so hopefully it doesn't fall apart. I'll only be wearing it on the trail and not in the yard so that should ensure it'll last.

My first blog entry!

There are a lot of reasons that I've decided to start a blog. I originally wanted to start a journal, as a way to keep track of things that happen to me in life, and as a way for me to improve my writing skills. A blog enables me to not loose the things that I write, and it's centralized so I can access it anywhere. I didn't want to use myspace to blog, I don't want anybody why happens to be my myspace friend reading my blogs. I don't plan on writing about things that I want to hide, I'd just like to keep things separate. Myspace is about sharing pictures, about staying in touch with friends and family that you don't see much, and lately it's about spam.

I plan on writing about a log of different things, as I have many, many interests. I'm a computer repair technician/tech geek. and a linux user by practice. With software, if it isn't free, I pretty much don't use it. I'll be writing a lot about the open-source world of software, something that most people aren't even aware of. I'll tell people that there is no adware and spyware, and no viruses in linux. There's almost no popups. And I'll write about how easy it is to set up and use. You'll definitly be hearing about microsoft and how evil they are in so many ways.

I like tech gadgets. I spent my night looking at gps-enabled watches. I think I might get one next summer. There's something about little gadgets that I really like.

I live in Alaska with my girlfriend of 2 years and our dog, a sled-dog-who-couldn't-quite-make-it. They're both a lot of fun. I spend my last 2 summers in Skagway, where I worked on a glacier doing sled dog tours to the cruise ship passengers who roll (sail?) through Skagway. Last winter I went home to Michigan, where I became obsessed with dogs to begin with. There's just not enough snow down there to go along with all the ignorant, self centered city slickers that I grew up around. There were a lot of reasons for me to move here. I wanted to learn more about the sport of dog mushing. I wanted to learn another way of life (one involving out houses, wood stoves and block heaters, and dog trucks every 5th truck on the highway). I wanted to come to a place where I could really be away from people that I know I can rely on so that I become more self-reliant. I wanted to do my own thing. I really wanted to find out what really is important in life. I'm not even 22 yet, so I know I have a lot to learn. But the things that are important back home no longer even matter here at all. People don't care what kind of car you drive, or what kind of money you have, or where you're from. I was always the guy who judged a person by how he treated people, instead of whether or not his home is worth $500,000 or not. Society clouds peoples perception or reality. So does advertising. I've been a victim just as everyone else has, and I don't like it.

I don't plan to ramble much.

I'll probably update this quite a bit. I'm not sure if I'll mess around with pictures or not (that's why myspace is for) but I may drop the occasional link here and there.

It's funny because I've written this as if it were to an audience. If you actually have read this, can you tell me?